Drastic Measures

Time to get real: I’m not going to be a fat bride. I don’t like calling myself fat b/c whoever you’re talking to is always obligated to be incredulous, like, “you’re not fat!” Maybe I’m not fat fat, but I’m definitely not rocking the body I want. I’ve had bloated chimpmunk cheeks for as long as I can remember. My calves are bigger than most dudes’. And I don’t looks as cute w/ a belly as Santa does. 

We haven’t set an actual date for our wedding, but late fall of 2014 is looking pretty certain. Which gives me just over a year to whittle myself down into the kind of bride I want to look like. 

hoping to look this smokin’ in a white dress; if I could emulate Mrs. Bloom’s Kerr’s bod for the rest of my life, it’d be just swell

I’m taking the first step today; my sister and a few friends are starting a weight loss challenge. Not that this correlates directly w/ the (not so fastly approaching) nuptials, but it’s a start. And every journey of 1000 miles begins w/ the first step, right? You’ll have to excuse the clichés, I’ve been pinning motivating quotes all morning. That’s right, I even made a new board on Pinterest devoted to this. I titled the board “skinny bitch” b/c that’s exactly what I intend the outcome to be. 

a little blurry, but still my favorite

We’re starting slowly, just a six week challenge for now, thats ending correlates nicely w/ the start of the holiday season. So any weight I lose will nicely complement the standard 10 pounds I gain every winter.

I want to give myself restrictions. I want to limit my sweets. And I definitely should limit my beers. But telling my body I can’t have something is just what my body needs to exist solely on those taboo items. I mean, I think I would have a pretty happy life if I only ate cheese and chocolate, washing it all down w/ Blue Moon. But I wouldn’t be so happy looking in the mirror, or taking pictures of myself. I don’t want to see three chins in selfies, or have to position myself just right to avoid fat arm syndrome.

If I was as badass as some of these other bloggers out here, I’d end this post w/ my current weight and inches. But I’m definitely not ballsy enough to put an actual number out there, and I’m too lazy to figure out how to measure my waist and thighs. What I’d like to be able to do is keep myself accountable using this here blog; try to pick your chin up off the floor at this totally novel concept of mine.