I Gained 5lbs Just Writing This

June 20, 2013

I Gained 5lbs Just Writing This

Remember that that time I ruined Mother’s Day for B’s mom by decorating a cake that looked like ass? As if I wasn’t already on B’s mom’s shit-list b/c of that debacle, to make matters worse, the cake I did for Father’s Day was an absolute gem.

Is that a beaut, or what? Make fun of the rainbow all you want, I had no part of that. But the writing? And the adorable freehand smiley face? Make fun of that and I’ll ~~cry about it~~ whoop some ass.

Last night B and I went out to watch the Bruins take game 4 and gain a 3-1 lead over the Hawks. Instead we watched them lose (in overtime, what else is new). Our routine was the same; drinks and nachos. Lots of them. Did you know that Shocktop has the ability to soften the blow of a loss like that?

Silly goose, of course it doesn’t. At least not when the television set at your booth is on a 10-second delay from the TV’s at the bar and the crowds’ reaction ruins every goal, punch thrown, and blocked shot. After the first period we had to take that party elsewhere. And by elsewhere I mean home b/c I had eaten way too many nachos and needed elastic waist pants stat.

Tonight was a dream come true for B. I’ve been asking him to suggest some food favorites b/c usually I just make what I want for dinner and then complain about how he barely eats anything (and then delight in the fact that I get to have about four helpings). So I whipped up some chicken broccoli penne, per his request. Per his request I also used wheat pasta (his absolute fave) and decided to skip the cream sauce in lieu of a hefty helping of cheese to create a sauce-like concoction. Are you picking up the sarcasm yet? (I would hope so, b/c I’m laying it on pretty thick) So once again it was a three-helping-for-Brig kind of night w/ enough leftovers to get me through the weekend. And I don’t know why it just occurred to me that making enough for food a family of six (a family of fatties at that) may be the reason my summer clothes aren't fitting so hot.

I had been a little hesitant over my dessert menu, which included two options (again, the picture of health over here), but after the way B wolfed down his dinner, I knew he’d have plenty of room. His options? Red velvet cheesecake brownies and snickers cheesecake bars (can you tell how intricate cheese is in this household?) I don’t know how Sally does it, but my cream cheese swirls were more like cream cheese lumps. Fortunately, it’s cheese, so it’ll get eaten regardless.

After reading this post, it’s glaringly obvious that I have an eating problem.

In news you didn’t already know, Binx is the only member of this crew cheering for the Heat tonight. He won’t root for the underdog on semantics alone; there’s just no reasoning w/ cats.