A Shout Out To Mnemonic Devices

Sifting through the throngs of videos posted daily on social media, it’s rare to find one that’s truly funny, actually rings true, or seriously makes you stop and think. This one did all three; a parody so spot on, you’d think Weird Al was the mastermind behind it. 

A few of my favorite lines:

Why did we read the scarlet letter? Puritans are boring, even when one is a slut 
     Hit the nail on the head w/ this gem. I couldn’t get through Hawthorne’s “classic” in high school, so when someone suggested it for the book club among my sisters and mom, I was on board. But not really; that shit was just as boring the second time around. Couldn’t even get through the first ten pages, and I’m not even ashamed. Puritans = snoozefest 

I guess mnemonic devices just weren’t enough for you, though 
     Anything involving a mnemonic device is a win in my book; those things are the shit. I still remember walking into seventh grade bio one day and seeing Kings Play Chess On Fancy Glass Stools written on the blackboard. I never forgot what it stood for: kingdom, phylum, class, order, family, genus, species. I didn’t even have to look that up right now (except to double check the spelling of phylum) b/c Mrs. Dowler was awesome. FOIL, HOMES, ROY G BIV; I remember what all those mnemonic tricks stand for. RIP: My Very Enthusiastic Mother Just Served Us Nine Pizzas; Pluto, you’ll always be a planet to me just b/c of this sentence. 

What about sohcahtoa? 
     What about sohcahtoa? Sounds like a Native American warrior better suited for history than math class. You know how many times in my life (outside of the Course 3 regents) I’ve used sine, cosine and tangent? ….yeah, thought so.

Can we get a class on picking the right credit card among all the shitty offers you get in the mail? Or how to decline a store card at Macy’s when you’ll get an additional 15% off your already egregious subtotal? How about some lessons on buying groceries for $20 (aside from ramen and mac and cheese) b/c that’s all you have left to spend this month after rent, the gym membership you never use, and your ridiculous phone bill. 

High school is supposed to prepare kids for the real world, but as someone currently living in the real world, there’s not much being able to decipher between igneous and metamorphic rocks, or knowing who Eli Whitney was will get you - except maybe an impressed look from someone on your team at trivia night.


Stephanie said…
I learned 0 things in high school applicable outside trivia night. Except maybe how to shut down mean girls and which excuses work best to get out of work.
Although, I did have one fab biology teacher who said every friday 'have a good weekend. No kissing the boys, smoking the dope, or drinking the brewskis' She knew what was up.
Brigid said…
things learned in high school:
1) wear your cutest outfit on friday so you can transition it to the mall/party that night
2) ernest hemingway sucks
3) pre-calc and calc suck even worse
4) see #1
Sarah said…
Haha that was really good. We obviously had different science teachers, because King Phillip Came Over For Good Sex. The only things I remember about pre-calc and calc all have to do with Mr. Daddario. "Hey, Ho Chi Minh!" (he'd probably get fired for that today), and how his word problems all involved Al Bany and Sara Cuse going on some adventure.

Oh, Soh Cah Toa. I will never forget your name, even thought I have long since forgotten what all the things mean.
Omg, I totally had king Phillip. And "Incas,Incas, Pizarro Peru" from st p.