Cereal Should Be Its Own Food Group

I could eat cereal all day, every day. My mom never kept any of the good stuff on hand. The cupboards were filled w/ the likes of Cheerios (original; can a girl get some Honey Nut?), Corn Flakes, Rice Krispies, Shredded Wheat (not even the frosted kind; gag), etc. Don’t get me wrong; I enjoy Corn Flakes and Rice Krispies (Cheerios are hit or miss; w/ a banana, they’re passable, but by themselves, they’re a bit dry. And they give you the worst breath). Special occasions merited Fruit Froot Loops or Lucky Charms. If it was my birthday, I could get away w/ a box of my absolute fave: Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Don't act like you can't see those cinnamon swirls.

Now that I buy my own groceries, the cereal aisle kills me every time. So many tasty varieties. Some bring me back to my younger years and I have to remind myself that the Cap’n and Sonny are welcome guests in my home.

But I still can’t buy everything I want. Have you been to the supermarket recently? Cereal prices are insane! When I have kids, they’ll be eating generic-o’s. I actually felt kind of like the mom yesterday when B and I were grocery shopping and he really wanted Raisin Bran Crunch (don’t knock it ‘til you try it, it’s surprisingly sugary delish). The generics have a pretty decent selection, but Raisin Bran Crunch was not one of them.

Me: Look! These huge bags are two for $5!

B (disgusted): Have you ever poured cereal out of a bag, Brig? It’s got to come from a box.

Me (staring incredulously): Every time you have cereal it’s from a bag…the bag inside the box.

B (realizes I have a point and tries a different tactic): Marshmallow Matey’s? Apple Zings? Are these names for real?

Me: It’s the generic Lucky Charms and it tastes the same. At least they’re creative.

B: Muffin Tops? Who’s the ad genius behind that one?

Me: (look at that bag of cereal but can’t distinguish the original brand; throw two bags in our cart and leave him pouting in the cereal aisle)

I had been leaning towards Marshmallow Matey’s, but it was the smallest of the bags. I gave Berry Colossal Crunch a try (care to guess what that’s mimicking?) since I haven’t had Cap’n Crunch or any of his spin-offs in ages.

I poured myself a bowl when we got home. B looked on skeptically while I took a bite. Spot-on. It brought me back to Saturday mornings at my friend’s house (whose mom did by the good cereals).

The only thing I miss about the “real” brands are the fun characters and games on the box. The bag doesn’t stand up and keep you company while you’re getting your sugar rush; it’s just not the same. 

who thought this name would sell cereal?