An Open Plea to my Future BFF's

Katniss Jennifer Lawrence: Look, I know you’ve got your pick of BFF’s; every girl out there is like, omg, Jennifer Lawrence is so cool, and w/ the upcoming release of Catching Fire I expect to see at least ten new Buzzfeed articles about how you’re the hottest thing since Candy Crush. But who else can you share ten meals a day with? All girls say they love eating, but let’s be real, most of ‘em are lying bitches who will only go halvies on that order of fries; I’ll swat your hand away and demand you order your own. True friendship right there.

Lorde: Before you think I’m a creep, hear me out: I can buy you booze. It’s not like you have a team of professionals to bend to your every whim or anything, so this is a real win for you. Most teenagers I know are all gold teeth, grey goose, trippin’ in the bathroom so riddle me this: how did you get such a good head on your shoulders? Pretty pretty please, don’t pull a Miley and let your fame make you rachet. 

ps: I, too, am kind of over getting told to throw my hands up in the air.

Jen Lancaster: I binge read a bunch of your books a few years ago and was instantly infatuated. Then I forgot to put your latest one on hold at the lib b/c I’m cheap dumb. I recently read another one of your collection and was reminded just how spectacular you are. You always have just enough self-deprecating talk in there to make me feel good about myself, but also manage to make me incredibly jealous of your life, qualifying us to be perfect friends. 

Mindy Kaling: You’re a writer, which ups your cool factor, by like, 10 mil. You’re also real, like, really real, which I can’t applaud you enough for. You’re funny, honest and gorge, but don’t get it twisted, this is not a girl crush; I just happen to think we would get along famously.