Things I'll Never Understand

When someone walks up the escalator but then stops right before the end. What are you doing? Keep going, weirdo, you just walked up the entire thing but you need to stop right here? 

How people can sleep w/out socks in the winter. If my feet are cold, there’s no way I’m falling asleep. And in the winter, they’re always cold. So how are people sleeping sans socks? Brent doesn’t wear socks and claims his feet are fine, but then he shoves those iceboxes up my pant leg and my bloodcurdling scream makes the neighbors think I’m being murdered, so that’s not really cool, babe. 

Another sleeping quandary: how some girls sleep w/ bras on. Why would you do that to yourself? If I’m staying at a friends and her boyfriend is around I might bring a tired old cotton sports bra that barely supports anything, but no promises there. Bras during the day = good. Bras during the night = bad.

Why English muffins are impossible to butter. There’s just no easy way over those damn nooks and crannies. The angst is worth it when you get that bite w/ butter and jelly pooled in the cranny, though, I understand that. 

How some people have made it this far in life. I think we’ve all had the unfortunate run-ins w/ the shit-for-brains I’m talking about here. Actually, I can probably learn something from these duds; how to mooch off the entirety of the intellect of society. 

Where the filter is for people who “speak their mind.” Standing up for what you believe in and being open and assertive is great; being a rude asshat is not.

Why I still look forward to Friday even though I’m working all weekend. I guess 27 years of holding out for Fridays is hard to shake. 

On that note, bring on the work-filled weekend #getoveritbrig