Explain Yourself

I wouldn't describe myself as a people person. It's not that I'm some old curmudgeon who hates everybody (although sometimes I have to remind myself of this), it's more that I don't understand people. I don't get why some people make the decisions that they do. This isn't a rant or list of the worst offenders of my (ever growing) pet peeves; this is genuine curiosity. I'm honestly boggled at why people: 

-Make dinner reservations after 7pm
I understand that there are more people than time in the day and space in the restaurants and yes, some parties have to be seated at 8 or 9pm, but I don't understand how anyone enjoys this. Some people view eating dinner late as a sign of sophistication, a badge of honor that they finally snagged a reservation at Per Se; to me, eating dinner late is a punishment. I'm always hungry, so why am I prolonging my favorite meal? 

-Go to opening weekend movies
The crowds and the noise and the writhing masses; did I mention the crowds? The movie will still be in theaters in a few months weeks, which is when I'll see it, preferably in a deserted theater where I can kick my feet up without screaming children and buzzing cell phones.   

-Lease cars
Isn't the whole point of adulthood to pay off all your bills and loans and be debt free? When you take a loan out on a car, the car is eventually yours and you have a few hundred extra dollars every month without that car payment. When you lease, you're paying a bill every month, and when the lease is up you have nothing to show for it. Da fuq?

-Buy pets instead of adopting 
There are thousands (millions? it's too sad to think if it's that many) of animals up for grabs, shelters full of wide eyed, wet nosed pups and kitties in need of a good home. Adoption isn't free, but you're saving a life and the money usually goes back into the shelter. Adopt, don't shop.    

-Don't pull through the parking spot
If you've ever ridden in a car with my sisters and me, you know we're an odd bunch. Particularly in parking lots; we park in the outer spots, away from all the madness, and we are always on the lookout for a pull-through. If you're unfamiliar, it's exactly what it sounds like: a spot you can pull through so you're facing out. You don't have to back into it; it's the total jackpot of parking spots. Obviously a pull-through isn't always available, but when I see people drive into a spot and then stop halfway instead of going through to the pull-through, I'm like:


-Sit on the same side of  the booth
This one makes no sense, since everyone knows you get a better view of your date when you're sitting across from them. Sitting next to someone and having to turn to face them all night is quite literally a pain in the neck.

-Pay for water at a restaurant
Still, sparkling, flat, fizzy; it's all superfluous to me. I prefer tap water, no ice, no lemon. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but essentially water is water to me. I'm not paying for a drink unless there's alcohol in it. 

-Wear make up at the gym
I'm lucky enough that I've never had a job that required a full face of makeup; however, I understand that some women need to look put together. But wearing all that to the gym? Aren't they concerned about breakouts with all those products blocking their pores? Like, keep makeup wipes in your gym bag and free your skin before your sweat sesh. Similarly, girls who wear big earrings or their hair down to work out; how does this not annoy the shit out of you? 

-Don't try on clothes/shoes before buying
I honestly can't with this one. Every article of clothing fits differently! Every retailer has their own sizing! You have to try it on! It legit makes me anxious if I'm with someone and they want to skip the fitting room, what do you mean you're not trying it on?! This is the main reason I'm not a fan of online shopping. Learning the sizes in a deluge of new retailers sounds like a nightmare.  

-Support Trump
So....you're still standing behind this guy? #notmypresident 

Comments