For the Easily Offended

I've seen a few accounts post this, but need to give credit to someone so thanks Fuck Jerry! 

While mindlessly scrolling Instagram recently, these words really got me thinking. 

We grew up sneaking episodes of South Park behind our mom's back and convulsing into laughter. Now we're adults who write open letters to the mom who called my son a picky eater.

I have nothing but admiration and respect to this country for becoming more open-minded and being "on the right side of history." It's not the same world my parents grew up in, and in most ways, that's an amazing thing. The progress older generations made to make the world the place it is for me today, as a young woman, is a debt I can never repay. 

We're still not the America we could be (particularly b/c of present leadership), but we've made great strides. Being sensitive to the needs of others, especially others who are different, is an act of empathy and kindness. Being sensitive to ev-er-y-thing on TV and social media is an act of martyrdom that really needs to stop.

Suddenly all these things that used to be neutral territory are cast in a terrible light. It's not cool to ask people what they do b/c like, I'm so much more than my job title and I refuse to be defined like that. Don't ask someone if they're seeing anyone right now b/c that just puts the pressure on and reminds them that WE ALL DIE ALONE. And don't even think about asking a girl if she has kids/wants kids/once was a kid; all that shit is now taboo.

I'm certainly guilty of being caught up in this self-righteous offended nonsense. A few months ago Brent told me someone asked him why we hadn't had kids yet and I was immediately seething. Brent had to listen to my tirade about insensitive people and minding your own business and blah blah blah. When I took a minute to think about it, I had to climb sheepishly off my soapbox and realize two things:

1) The person who asked this was a different generation than us. Small talk for them is "are you getting married soon?" and "when are you having kids?" and it's harmless.

2) Questions like these aren't meant to be offensive. They're meant to stop an awkward lull in the conversation, not cast judgement on who you are as a person. 

Somehow our generation, that came of age watching Michael Scott fake fire an employee to the point of tears, propose to a woman he was causally seeing in front of a Diwali celebration, lie to a bunch of high school kids about paying for their college education in cringe-worthy fashion, is offended by the question "do you want kids?"

When I ask someone what they do for work, I'm genuinely interested. I want to know what kind of training that requires, what their day looks like, what's the craziest thing someone ever ordered, etc. Basically, I'm nosy AF and I want all the deets. I'm not asking so I can base all my assumptions about you as a human being around your occupation and judge accordingly. I'm not asking if you're seeing someone to rub it in your face if you're not; usually it's because you saw my ring and asked how long I've been married, and I'm following it up w/ a similar question b/c that's how conversation works.

We don't know what struggles someone has been through when we're politely making elevator conversation. We don't know their deep-seated values and beliefs when we're trying to avoid an awkward silence. Chances are, if someone is asking you one of these "offensive" questions, they're genuinely curious. Or they're easily put off by a long pause in the conversation. Getting rankled by it only serves to put you in a crap mood and probably an earful for your unsuspecting friend/partner/puppy. Don't worry about it, it happens to everyone. 

That's what she said (Michael Scott reference WIN)