The Summer Read You Need to Skip

no idea if Voltaire really said this, but it's the perfect quote for this post 

You know the authors who churn out books at a regular pace that aren't Pulitzer Prize winners, but they're good writers? Emily Giffin, Jennifer Weiner, Jane Green. Call it "chick lit" or the perfect "beach read," but that's what these books are, and I appreciate the authors. You don't even read the synopsis of the book, you just put it on hold b/c you know you'll be entertained. Elin Hilderbrand was on my list until Thursday when I started 28 Summers, and spent the weekend drudging through a book I thoroughly hated only to write this obnoxious rant about it. 

The plot: Mallory Blessing and Jake McLoud meet on Labor Day weekend in Nantucket in 1992. This starts the secret affair they continue for 28 summers, based on a movie they watch every year called "Same Time Next Year" about a couple who -surprise!- is doing the same shitty thing; cheating, lying and sneaking around. 

The first glaringly obvious problem with this book is that it didn't even need to happen. Mallory and Jake meet when they're in their early twenties. They have no hard-won careers, no spouses, no children to consider. Why don't they just give the relationship a go, you might ask? If you too have this obvious question, you've thought more about the book than Hilderbrand or her editor.

Another huge problem I had with this book is the way it paints Ursula as the obvious villain. She's focused on her career and willing to sacrifice her personal relationships, so she must be a bitch! Ursula deserved way better than whiny, unfaithful, immature Jake. She made mistakes, but nothing like her scumbag husband. 

My biggest problem with this book? How it romanticized Mallory and Jake's "relationship." Honestly, they didn't have one. There were no phone calls or texts, birthday cards or holiday letters through the years. There were the two texts Jake sent when he arrived on Nantucket every year, and the three days they spent together, and that was it. But those three days though! They were the beacon that got them through the other 362 days of the year! Fuck that. Anyone can have three perfect days with someone, especially on a boujee, remote island. How do you weather cold and flu season, dreary January and the endless winter that comes next? How strong is your relationship when you have to assemble a new kitchen table or renovate your bathroom? 

Um, this is a book. A shitty summer read by an author who writes similar-ish books, so whats your problem, you're probably thinking. And you're right. I don't know why I let this book rile me up so much.

Actually, I do. I'm so sick of Hollywood and the media and the ridiculous expectations that are set every day by books like this. This isn't "romantic." There's nothing charming about this book; it's filled with infidelity and self-absorbed characters. When I went to track it on Goodreads, I expected a low rating and similar sentiment. I was furious as I saw one review after another gushing how "Hilderbrand has done it again!" and hailing it a "true love story."

Relationships are hard work. They're not secretly meeting up with someone for three days filled with urgent sex and lively conversation and fresh lobster b/c you haven't seen each other in 362 days and it's New England. Romance is actually pursuing someone and taking the leap and putting their needs before your own, not sneaking around on your spouse and lying to everyone in your life so you can honor some reckless "promise" you made when you were 22.

All right, rant over. Please suggest good books below b/c I need to wash my brain out.