I Want My MTV Back. With Quality Programming. Like Laguna Beach. And Next.

Getting old is hard. I was watching MTV last night for the first time in I don’t know how long, and was shocked at how trite I found it all. It’s not like watching Say Yes to the Dress and Property Virgins give me any right to judge whats on TV. But at least that’s real life (skewed and edited as it may be); millions of people will end up shopping for a wedding dress, or buying a house for the first time.

MTV’s the Real World? And the 50 million challenge spin-off shows they keep churning out? Pretty much the opposite end of the “real” spectrum. In what life does ziplining through the jungles of Brazil and getting in a brawl w/ a bunch of your castmates come in handy? I guess if you’re a reality TV contestant, those are highly valuable skills. 

I remember when these shows used to be all I watched. Last night I had to change the channel at every commercial break to avoid being inundated with these trailers. Don't get me wrong; I enjoy nothing more than trashy reality television. But these are the same players from when I was watching in college. High school, even. Trishelle; it's time to move on. 

Last night I was watching True Life, which is still the bomb. And the episode “I Work for My Parents” featured a guy from Oswego! SUNY Oswego was mentioned! I rode that drunk bus!

I need to use lots of exclamation points b/c that was me last night, watching the episode and interrupting B while he prepped his fantasy football team for the NFL opener. “They just drove by Cam’s!” “They’re going to Oneida!” “Whoa, time has not been nice to that guy since I’ve graduated!” I knew my alma mater would make me proud. Not by having famous alum like Al Roker or Steve Levy; but by living in infamy on trashy network programming.

Watching MTV made me feel ancient. I don’t know any of these new shows they’re airing. Retro MTV is the way to go; The Hills marathon over Labor Day weekend was not unappreciated (but seriously, The Hills went off the air like, two years ago. How is that retro?)

Besides seeing a promo every other commercial for some new trash MTV is airing, I was reminded about the VMA’s tonight. God, I’m old. I remember when the VMA’s were THE awards to watch. We would stay up late in high school to see every final minute, and have viewing parties in college to take in every second of Britney’s crazy.

Now I can’t even remember what the acronym stands for (Video Music Awards. May have needed to look that up). Or the last time I tuned in. I watched some of it last year, mostly b/c my Twitter feed was blowing up about Beyonce’s baby announcement. I think the last year I really watched was the whole “I’ma let you finish” fiasco.

So obviously, I’ll be tuning in tonight. I plan on taking a nap when I get home from work so I’m rested and ready for all the festivities. I’m hoping *N Sync will take the stage in some epic reunion performance. But since it’s not 1998, I’ll settle for at least knowing one or two of the kids acts that perform these days.