Slightly Soggy
Euclid, is it? Am I pronouncing that right? You're the storm that tore through the Midwest on Christmas and is now terrorizing the east coast. Wish I could say nice to meet you. But I'm more inclined to say fuck. off.
Since when did we name blizzards? I thought that was a fun gimmick reserved solely for tropical storms. I guess Snow Miser felt a little left out.
Well, I have a few questions for you, Euclid. Do you like ruining Christmas for millions of people? Making it impossible for them to get home (or get out of their hometown, which is equally, if not more, important?) Do you enjoy watching the wind bump my umbrella into my glasses, and then flip said umbrella inside out so I look like a giant asshat? You obviously had a terrible childhood; thanks again, Mother Nature.
The bottom of my dress is soaked. It looks like some kind of reverse-ombre inspired frock, one that I could never pull off. My tights have weird blotches on them from where the water got inside my rain boots. The good news is I have a half day today, so I only have to play the part of the drowned rat until noon. The bad news is I forgot a banana and I’m not going back out there to get one. Euclid’s trying to starve me out, but it won’t work; I’ve got some leftover Christmas crunch in my desk, so I’ll gladly substitute that for my yogurt and banana routine. Things are definitely looking up.
I do have a favor to ask. Have at it today, but please make sure your fury is over by 6pm tonight (it’d be real swell if you could conclude all precipitation between Boston and Syracuse well before then). I’d owe you one. And you know what they say: A Lannister always pays his debts. Think about it, Euclid.
Since when did we name blizzards? I thought that was a fun gimmick reserved solely for tropical storms. I guess Snow Miser felt a little left out.
Well, I have a few questions for you, Euclid. Do you like ruining Christmas for millions of people? Making it impossible for them to get home (or get out of their hometown, which is equally, if not more, important?) Do you enjoy watching the wind bump my umbrella into my glasses, and then flip said umbrella inside out so I look like a giant asshat? You obviously had a terrible childhood; thanks again, Mother Nature.
The bottom of my dress is soaked. It looks like some kind of reverse-ombre inspired frock, one that I could never pull off. My tights have weird blotches on them from where the water got inside my rain boots. The good news is I have a half day today, so I only have to play the part of the drowned rat until noon. The bad news is I forgot a banana and I’m not going back out there to get one. Euclid’s trying to starve me out, but it won’t work; I’ve got some leftover Christmas crunch in my desk, so I’ll gladly substitute that for my yogurt and banana routine. Things are definitely looking up.
I do have a favor to ask. Have at it today, but please make sure your fury is over by 6pm tonight (it’d be real swell if you could conclude all precipitation between Boston and Syracuse well before then). I’d owe you one. And you know what they say: A Lannister always pays his debts. Think about it, Euclid.
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