Tricks to Avoid All the Treats


Happy Halloween! I feel like a super big poser coming here all excited about Halloween when I didn’t even have a costume and bar crawl it up this year. Does Halloween even happen if you’re sober enough to remember? Hmm, I sound borderline alcoholic here, so let’s just go right into the scheduled programming for the day.

We’re talking the best part of Halloween: the candy. Sure, pulling together that perfect costume is pretty great, but everyone knows Reese’s reigns over this holiday, at least in my world. Sadly, I’m not trying to gain two extra pounds of sugar this year, so the topic today is how to avoid all that Halloween candy.

You’re probably asking yourself, who’s blog am I reading right now? No drunk shenanigans or love letters to chocolate on its most celebrated holiday, this can’t be Brigid. It is Brigid, just older and wiser, who’s had too many Halloween hangovers. A Halloween hangover is the worst kind; it’s the stomachache and sugar coma that comes w/ eating all the fun sized bars you hoarded from the trick-or-treaters. It’s a downward shame spiral of candy wrappers and cavities and you can’t even blame drunk you since you’re soberly stuffing all that chocolate into your mouth. 

If you’re looking to avoid this messy situation, here’s some options:

-Buy the candy you don’t like. For me, this would include Necco wafers and those weird, unmarked candies that came in the black and orange wrappers. Remember those? They were always from the older neighbors and the candy that went straight into the “give to parents” pile or the trash.

-Buy less than you think you’ll need. There’s no shame in running out of candy (unless it’s before 7pm, then what were you thinking?) Turn out the lights and relax knowing there’s nothing left for you to binge on.

-When you’re ready to call it a night, give whatever candy you have left to your last group of trick-or-treaters. They’ll be thrilled and you won’t have any temptation left, so it’s a win-win.

-If you have leftover candy, instead of bringing it to work on November 1st like everyone else in your office, find a buyback program to take it off your hands. You’ll get money for the candy and then they send it overseas. Support the troops and rid your pantry from the clutter of all that candy. Find one here.

-My personal solution to avoiding the Halloween sugar high? A night out. Our new tradition is heading to Providence on Halloween and going to the Jack-O-Lantern Spectacular at the zoo. It’s really fun and then I don’t feel bad about having the house dark since we’re not home until after all the trick-or-treaters are done. The bonus of this is that I don’t have to buy any candy, which my frugal little heart loves, almost as much as all those jack-o-lanterns.

Maybe these work for you, or maybe you’re like, what a buzzkill, just buy the candy and use some self control like a normal person. Please, if you’ve been around here for a while, you know I’m not normal. 

Now I need your help: what’s the best way to avoid all that clearance candy on November 1st? I got nothing.

Comments

Stephanie said…
I know the Weight Watchers by my work takes back any leftover candy on Nov. 1, which is smart of them! I'm okay, I don't really care for candy so I don't touch it. John eats whatever he wants since he works two physical jobs and can do that (bastard) but takes the rest to the station. I think it would be a harder holiday for me if I had a sweet tooth! But even as a kid, I would sell my leftovers - to my mom, to kids on the bus, my cousins, I always made BANK in November!
Brigid said…
SELL YOUR HALLOWEEN CANDY?!?! blasphemy. I so wish I didn't have a sweet tooth, a few extra bucks this time of year is always helpful. Men, right, eating whatever they want, whenever they want. Jerks.