St. Patrick's Day Bests

St. Patrick's Day falls on a Saturday this year? Ugh, I can already smell the bar scene, which is a little different from your normal Saturday night; more vomit and less sweat, since St. Paddy's is all about drinking and no one's really tearing it up on the dance floor. 

In college, St. Patrick's Day meant an entirely green ensemble, including an adorable green shamrock sticker strategically stuck next to each eye; every girl at the bar rocks this look, and don't even try to tell me you've never done it. As an adult, St. Patrick's Day means rejoicing in the fact that it's acceptable to start drinking as soon as you wake up; nothing says St. Paddy's like kegs and eggs. It's a small reminder of your old college days, and even though the hangover will be substantially longer --and let's face it, you probably won't even make it past dinnertime if you start before noon-- damn it, you've got to try. 

In honor of one of the best drinking holidays, here's a few of my favorites for tomorrow:

Best Drink

-Beer

-Beer

-Beer

(it's St. Patrick's Day; the only acceptable substitute here is Irish whiskey) 

Best Food

-Car Bomb Cupcakes

-Soda Bread

-Anything at all; you've got to eat if you want to stand a chance of making it to the bars

Best Clothing Choice 

-Green clothes, don't be the guy who's making a point 

-Comfy footwear; save the cute shoes for the spring, we're almost there! 

-Shamrock sticker bedazzlement, if you're a girl (see above)

Best Thing to Bring to the Bar

-Toilet paper

-Deck of cards

-Phone charger 

Best Way to Get in Fight

-Informing everyone that they don't even celebrate this day in Ireland

-Hopping onstage with the Irish band and repeatedly screaming your request for "Shipping Up to Boston"

-Laughing at some girl's cute shamrock stickers 

Best Way to End the Night

-Proving to the college kids you're not old by beating them at flip cup

-Falling asleep at the bar and getting escorted into a cab home 

-Irish exit and pizza/nachos/gas station snacks