That Post Vacay Backslide

everyone drives a convertible on the vineyard

Today was my first day back at work after a three day hiatus. No big deal, right, just one day tacked onto a regular weekend. But when you have split days off and are used to only one day off at a time, three days off in a row is a legit vacation. I had to Waze my way to work after nearly missing more than one turn, and I forgot to put a chef's coat and apron on so I was covered with flour for the whole day.

What it is about coming back after a vacation, however long it may be, that makes me need another vacation? I know I was just out for a few, but I'mma need a few more if that's cool. The first day back is a wash; forget trying to be productive when yesterday your toughest choice was deciding whether to start the day with beer or hard liquor and today you actually have to be a functioning member of society.

As someone who thrives on planning and scheduling, you'd think I would be okay with returning to the daily grind, at least for the sake of getting back to my daily routine. You'd think that, and it would be incorrect. Instead of going through the motions of my normal day, I was out of it all day. Wednesdays are typically my day off, so my body was like, da fuq am I doing here? I should be having a Love It or List It marathon with a box of Lucky Charms. 

There comes a point during my vacation when I feel like I've reached my threshold for crap and actually crave a salad or vegetables to put some sort of nutrients into my body. So you'd think coming back from a little vacation indulgence would put me on the path to healthy eating for the next few days. Instead, work today was an all-you-can-eat buffet and I'm eating bacon straight out of the oven and cookie dough straight from the fridge.

Speaking of terrible choices, who are the people who shop at all these upscale beachy boutiques? I've never understood the appeal of shopping on vacation. When I'm on holiday, I'm subsisting on fried food, ice cream and booze. Who thinks you know what, I just had three beers, nachos and the grande burrito for lunch, but now seems as good a time as any to shop for a cute new sundress and probably some jeans and a bikini while I'm at it because YOLO.

Do people still say YOLO? Asking for a friend.

Oh well, things could be worse. I could have been stuck on a stuffy train forever like Brent was. Nothing says welcome back to work like a breezy, 2 hour commute.