Date Night Fail

It’s my own fault, really. I told myself I was going to unsubscribe from Groupon after the Pillow Pet fiasco. The mixing bowl bust just reaffirmed my stance on the whole scam deal site biz. And then…I went and bought like, three more Groupons. What can I say, I’m lazy cheap determined to get a good deal. 

Brent and I decided to use one Friday; it wasn’t so much our decision as it was forced on us when we realized it expired in ten days. It started off poorly when my Blue Moon arrived sans orange slice. What the what? Let me back up; it started off poorly after we were seated and then ignored for ten minutes, particularly by the manager-type who kept walking my schmoozing w/ everyone else in our section. Sorry we don’t look rich 55+. Finally someone came over to fill our water glasses and mumble some sort of greeting. Is this our server? The busser? Some rando dressed in all black who’s accepting a dare? Your guess is as good as mine. 

This wasn’t the type of place w/ nachos on the menu (Brent: please don’t ever take me to a place w/out nachos on the menu) so we ordered the crab and artichoke dip to start. Maybe that was our own fault; neither of us are huge seafood lovers. And by that I mean we tolerate it; clam chowda and crab rangoons are pretty much the extent of it. But I tried fish tacos for the first time a few weeks ago and convinced myself that means I’m a seafood aficionado, so crab and artichoke dip it was. We should have been more like thanks, but no thanks, b/c that dip was not our scene. When the server/busser/rando came to clear it away, there was practically more dip on the plate than we started with; don’t ask me how, but there was.

For the main course, I was debating between two “normal Brig” options and then I was all in my head like, really, chicken again? There’s a surprise. So I changed it up royally and ordered the lobster roll; you know, b/c the seafood attempt at an app went over so well. The menu listed it as the best lobster roll around; I think the menu is advertising falsely. Not that I’m the expert on lobster rolls; counting the one I had Friday, I’ve had ½ a lobster roll in my life. But clearly I’ve been avoiding them for a reason. My first bite I was like, “mmmm, this is really good!” My second bite had some actual lobster meat and wasn't just the buttery roll, so it didn’t go down as easily. I couldn’t get past the claw-shaped meat. I legit had to stick the claw-lookalikes under my plate until our plates were cleared, and then absently brushed them off the table like, oh, I was wondering where all those claws scampered off to.

For dessert, we went w/ something we knew we’d like. B/c honestly, how do you mess up an ice cream sandwich? Those, at least, were tasty. I thought we were finally turning things around until I pulled out the Groupon and our waiter told us the lobster roll wasn’t included on the Groupon. If only he had known; why didn’t we tell him we had a Groupon? Maybe b/c you never introduced yourself, I’m not really sure you even work here, and perhaps you could have taken it upon yourself to ask us, the guests, since everyone around us was also using a Groupon. 

If you’re looking to be ignored and screwed over, Nix’s Mate will deliver. If you’re looking to get to the bottom of who the hell Nix, and more importantly, his mate, is well, good luck w/ all that.

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