An Open Plea to my Future BFF's

Katniss Jennifer Lawrence: Look, I know you’ve got your pick of BFF’s; every girl out there is like, omg, Jennifer Lawrence is so cool, and w/ the upcoming release of Catching Fire I expect to see at least ten new Buzzfeed articles about how you’re the hottest thing since Candy Crush. But who else can you share ten meals a day with? All girls say they love eating, but let’s be real, most of ‘em are lying bitches who will only go halvies on that order of fries; I’ll swat your hand away and demand you order your own. True friendship right there.




Lorde: Before you think I’m a creep, hear me out: I can buy you booze. It’s not like you have a team of professionals to bend to your every whim or anything, so this is a real win for you. Most teenagers I know are all gold teeth, grey goose, trippin’ in the bathroom so riddle me this: how did you get such a good head on your shoulders? Pretty pretty please, don’t pull a Miley and let your fame make you rachet. 

ps: I, too, am kind of over getting told to throw my hands up in the air.

Jen Lancaster: I binge read a bunch of your books a few years ago and was instantly infatuated. Then I forgot to put your latest one on hold at the lib b/c I’m cheap dumb. I recently read another one of your collection and was reminded just how spectacular you are. You always have just enough self-deprecating talk in there to make me feel good about myself, but also manage to make me incredibly jealous of your life, qualifying us to be perfect friends. 

Mindy Kaling: You’re a writer, which ups your cool factor, by like, 10 mil. You’re also real, like, really real, which I can’t applaud you enough for. You’re funny, honest and gorge, but don’t get it twisted, this is not a girl crush; I just happen to think we would get along famously.




Comments

Stephanie said…
Stephanie: we can drink together, dress our pets in costume without judgment and without regard to what Brent has to say about it because now he's outnumbered, and make alcoholic cupcakes to consume by ourselves because sharing is for suckers. And after we've done all that, we can go to Taco Bell. For the 3rd time in one day. There's no shame among besties.

I know you didn't mean to leave that one out.
Brigid said…
no. words.

except that you know me better than my actual bff's and how could I leave it out b/c it just made my life. add in a themed bar crawl w/ some flip cup tourney's and I'm about to pack my bags for Chicago. no shame!

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