Even When I Lose, I'm Winning

Oh hey, fancy meeting you here. Seeing as I’ve been absent for pretty much all of 2014 March. It’s not that I’ve lost interest in the whole blogging thing; I still try to get in my daily reads, or at least a good bulk read once a week. It’s the writing part that's taken a backseat. And seeing as how this isn’t so much a blog but a journal of the goings on in my little life, when I look back in 10 years like, hmm, what was silly 27-year-old Brig up to, I’ll see a whole lot of nothing (just kidding, like fancy, mature 37-year-old Brig would be caught dead reading blogs. By 2024 computers are going to be a thing of the past, right?)

That’s life, I suppose; life is what happens while you’re making other plans…or something like that. Let’s pretend I don’t sound entirely drunk right now, b/c I actually came here today w/ an idea for a post. It all started on Saturday when I had a MEGA mini breakdown and was caught red faced and ugly crying (to be honest, ugly crying would have been a step up from whatever wailing and snot sniveling I had going on). It’s just been too much lately; going to school full time and working full time. I was talking about it to one of the teachers at school and she was all, welcome to the real world, and I just had to take a deep breath so I wouldn’t go off on this heffer. 

I’ve been in the “real world” since 2008 when I graduated from college and done the whole 40-50 hours a week, paying rent, trying to hold onto any and every semblance of college life. When I was at my soul-sucking job around this time last year and decided to go back to school, I knew it would be an adjustment. I’d most likely be working part time, which isn’t the real world. A few store closings and job shake-ups later and I’m at a job I can really see leading to what I want to be doing in the pastry field, and if that means proving myself by working full time while taking 18 credits, that’s what I’ve got to do. Except…I just can’t. Going straight from school to work 3 times a week and then working all weekend will tire you out. Having your only days “off” as the days you have a six hour class and rarely get home before 9pm will exhaust you. Then add some wedding planning in there. And the fact that I can’t live in a messy home, which is exactly the state of our place at the moment, when cleaning time becomes a luxury. And that I’ve been unable to do the things that I was excited about going back to school for, like baking and cooking at my leisure. Add that all up and you’ve got yourself a recipe for the shitstorm that happened Saturday afternoon. 

I’m here today calm and recharged, even after working all weekend, b/c the release I had Saturday was just what I needed. Brent actually listening to me about why I’m tired and just blah all the time and understanding where I’m coming from was so important to me. And I realized that even in the midst of the chaos my life is right now, I’m still coming out on top. I’m in school for something I’m passionate about. I’m at a job where I can see growth and stability. And I’ve got the 100% support of the guy I love, reassuring me w/ gems like, even if it all doesn’t work out, you’ll always have a job as my personal chef. Oh thanks, B.

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