A Timely Review of Stranger Things Season 3

***SEASON 3 STRANGER THINGS SPOILERS***

Totally late to the party here, I fully recognize. Brent and I just finished watching season 3 of Stranger Things. What have we been doing since July, you ask? Re-watching every episode of The Office 300 times before it’s contract on Netflix ends and I’ll be forced into a black hole of depression.

We watched the Stranger Things first and second season recap and sat in silence for a moment before Brent was like, “man, the show is just so good…” and left it hanging in the air until I was like, “kinda makes you want to re-watch the first two seasons again, huh?” and laugh uncomfortably to let him know I’m kidding, but maybe I’m not, and does he have the 19 hours to spare b/c if he does, I’m in.

We re-watched seasons 1 and 2 in like, a week, and I don’t know who we were kidding thinking it would take any longer than that. We just finished season 3 and I’m here today to talk about all the problems I had with it. Not the season itself, b/c I was loving it up until the finale. I avoided reading anything about Stranger Things so I wouldn’t see any spoilers, so perhaps these points have all been touched upon. I had to put my two cents out there so when the Duffer Brothers see this, they know how to make amends for season 4. Obviously.

Hopper’s Death

Hopper did NOT need to die. Stranger Things isn’t one of those shows who holds itself to some moral high ground and needs viewers to know anyone can be killed at any time and that’s what makes it superior (cough cough Walking Dead), and even if it were, the fact that he died isn’t what pissed me off. It’s how he died. The unceremonious way it happened was so completely lacking of what that character deserved. I feel like he’s still alive from the ambiguous “American” comment at the very end, but does that mean he’s trapped in Russia? Now it’s getting a little ridiculous.

Billy’s Death

This mofo needed to go, so I’m not mad about the death; again, it’s how they did it. Billy, this misogynist, meathead asshole who terrorized his little sister and all the women of Hawkins, got the royal VIP death treatment. A character I immediately hated drew me to tears when he was killed, because they made him a hero. He sacrificed himself to save Eleven and the greater good, and seriously, what has this character ever done that would illicit this behavior?!

Eleven Losing Her Powers

Did she just totally exhaust herself? Are they coming back? Is she still in the party if she can’t find anyone at any moment and spy on the shadow monster? Too many questions, not enough answers.

The Byers Leaving Hawkins

I understand the maternal instinct to give your children the best shot at a normal life, but come on Joyce, that ship has sailed. Your kids were a little weird to begin with, and now they’re totally fucked. Why are you taking them away from their friends at this point in their life?! Will has a crazy awesome support group and even Jonathan found a girlfriend. Lightening isn't going to strike twice.

Eleven Living with the Byers 

Eleven is just living with the Byers now? Anyone else find this weird? She probably can’t move in with Mike, since his mom is the only parent in Hawkins outside of Joyce who cares about her kids, and wouldn’t take in some rando without asking questions, but most of the other parents seem pretty lax. Eleven could probably move in with Max, whose parents didn’t seem to realize they were raising a serial killer, and enroll in school and join the AV club. If she wants parents who aren’t absent assholes, Dustin’s mom is around some of the time and would definitely let her get a cat.

Just for fun, a few of my favorite memes; gotta end on a high note. 

for realz

 literal lol for like 5 minutes 

typical Joyce