Million to One Shot, Doc

Maintenance; it’s a part of life. Your nails, your car, your wardrobe, it all needs to be maintained (unless you’re like me and chip your nails, forget oil changes, and throw everything in the washer b/c who has time for hand washing delicates?) 

What I attempt to stay on top of is the health maintenance. Oral hygiene is no joke; you won’t see me skipping my 6 month cleaning. Hence, the reason I was there today (and the inspiration for the blog post). No one likes going to the dentist. It usually involves rushing around on your lunch break, or admitting that you don’t floss, or waiting around in a room with a paper towel hanging around your neck.

But my old dentist was pretty enjoyable (as much as tiny instruments scraping at your teeth can be enjoyed). The waiting area was comfortable, the staff was super friendly, and they even had off street parking. Does it get any better than that? Yes, yes it does. The staff actually knew what they were talking about and helped me out when Crest decided to stain my teeth blue. So why would I leave this magical place? New insurance (I think that’s the precise definition of first world problem

So I find a dentist that takes my insurance w/in walking distance from our place. Take that, off street parking. I walk my ass there on this humid, hot-as-balls day and am obviously feeling dandy. Seeing the crowd of people ahead of me in the waiting room really did wonders for my already chipper mood. What really made it a party was waiting 45 minutes to be called. In a waiting room w/ no AC or current magazine subscriptions.

The hygienist finally calls me and proceeds to take only about 500 x-rays. Thanks, I was worried my radiation levels were a little too low. Then another hygienist comes in, who is so surly, she makes Frank Costanza look like Santa Claus. After cleaning my teeth for much less time than it took to x-ray them, she leaves and the dentist comes in, spending all of two seconds on my teeth.

Dentist: Open, please. spends about two seconds looking at my teeth w/ tiny mirror. Okay!

Me:, is everything all right?

Dentist: Yes, looks great!

As much as I love hearing great things about myself, I’d love it much more if they were warranted. The whole point of the dentist is to do the cleaning I can’t do at home; shouldn’t it take a little longer than an at-home whitening kit?