Late Fees

How is it already the middle of May? And where are these May flowers that are supposed to be blooming? Seems like April and May got their roles mixed up. April had more sun and fun, so now May is stuck w/ supplying the rain we need, like an older sibling ruining all the fun picking up the slack. How embarrassing for Mother Nature.
In a few short weeks I’ll be moving in w/ B. Like Bud Light Limes and sunburns, the start of warm weather isn’t really official until I pack up all my shit and move it somewhere else. I just love moving so much, I mean, who doesn’t enjoy hauling heavy boxes up and down multiples stairways in the scorching heat; why do you think I do it so often?
Yesterday I officially changed my mailing address online. They charged me a whole dollar. It’s barely even worth the effort to plug in all my credit card information. At least make a Lincoln off of it, USPS. Now I know why you’re being forced into bankruptcy.
After changing my mailing address, I figured there was really only one thing left to do to make the move official: apply for a library card. I’m now a proud member of the Noblenet system.
Why are there like a thousand library networks in this city? It’s really not that big. In Eastie, I was part of the Boston Public Libraries. Now, I’m part of the Minuteman Library Network. And in a few weeks, I’ll be using Noblenet. Which is apparently having some huge makeover. The librarian was all excited about it. Maybe they’ll be joining the 21st century combining into one unified library system?
Speaking of systems that are as broken as the post office need some revamping; the libraries are currently charging $0.05 for every late item. You read that right (even though I probably didn’t type it right; there’s no cent symbol on my keyboard); a whole nickel. And if you’re late on returning a DVD, that fine jumps to fifty cents. I don’t know how the libraries aren’t rolling in the dough off of those figures. All those articles I’m reading about libraries being on the brink of collapse must be propaganda from the librarians who are just trying to fatten their own pockets. Ridiculous if you ask me.
Which reminds me, I’ve got a $1.05 fine going with my current library. I need to remember to pay that before I move, or I’ll feel like a real ass. Sine the fines are so insignificant, people probably “forget” to pay them all the time. $3 may not be much to you or me, but the library can probably get a whole bin of unwanted books for that price at some shady back-door book buying deal.
Seriously, though, I’m setting a reminder in my phone right now to pay off that fine. I might even slip the girl a cool five. When she starts to make change for me, I’ll just say something smooth like, “I think you need it more than I do.” And then some fight will break out in the young adult section over the last copy of Twilight and I’ll realize that it’s not the libraries that are in trouble, it’s the public, and the lack of quality books we have to read. Maybe I’ll get my change after all. The last thing I want is my money going towards another copy of Fifty Shades of Grey.

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