How eBay Almost Gave Me an Ulcer

I don’t think I’m cut out for the world of auction hunting. I can’t stomach all the suspense. It gives me major anxiety. Never mind that I can’t understand anything that comes out of the auctioneers’ mouth.

Even in a silent auction, I don’t think I’d enjoy myself. Too many “what if’s?” What if richie rich bid more than me? What if no one outbids me and I get stuck paying out the ass for those crummy Red Sox seats? What if they don’t replenish the cheese tray before dinner starts?

I’ve never been to a silent auction. I just imagine it being a fancy affair, complete with rich folk and cheese platters. And no auction in Boston would be complete w/out some tickets for one of our championship teams.

I’ve been stalking eBay the past week in hopes of finding a deal on a Marc Jacobs watch for my birthday. I thought eBay was supposed to help you find stuff on the cheap. So why are all these watches going for full price? Hey bidders: if you want to pay retail, go to the damn mall. Save yourself some shipping costs, and save me some money. I’m not trying to pay $180 for this watch, or I would just hit up Macy’s.

Last night I see the watch I want going for 50% off. And there’s only 3 hours left to bid in the auction! I think it must be destiny. Until I see that it’s currently 9pm. The Sox have a better chance of making the play-offs than I do at being awake come midnight.

B tells me to set my alarm if I really want the watch. I ask if he’ll wake up w/ me, since I’ve never used eBay before I don’t trust myself to keep a clear head under pressure. I could barely handle the stressful final seconds of an eBay auction under normal circumstances, let alone groggy and confused after an hour of sleep.

My alarm goes off ten minutes before the bidding ends. I’m falling asleep in front of my computer, but B is ready to go. We keep refreshing the screen, but no one else seems to have bid on the watch. It’s getting down to the final 30 seconds. I’m silently urging B to put a bid in, but it’s not my place to say anything, right? I don’t know how this works. There’s 15 seconds left and B enters our bid. I calm down for a second, until a pop-up says he needs to confirm it. There’s like, five seconds left. We ran out of time for sure.

My heart is racing. I came dangerously close to shouting bloody murder when he let the clock tick down to the final seconds. I think I lost a few minutes of my life from all the stress.

And then he gets the confirmation email. Congratulations, you won the bid!

I have to say, I felt a little dirty. Like the Price is Right contestant who bids $1. I HATE that guy. Sorry to whoever thought they were getting a great deal on a Marc Jacobs watch. Take comfort in knowing that the watch is going to look fab on me #sorryImnotsorry

Comments

SO stressful right?! I feel the same way! Sometimes I just don't bother because the prices aren't that much less and I'd pay more to not deal with the hassle.
Sounds like you got a great deal though! Birthday luck, perhaps?
Brigid said…
I'd never used eBay before, but I don't know that I'll be using it again anytime soon. Although I did end up w/ the winning bid = ) Birthday luck, or playing the system...either way, I'll take my new watch, half off, haha!

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