Time Zone Trouble

I’ve seen the ugly side of Hawaii. No, it’s not the price gouging zip-line tours, or the dog poop on the beach. It’s the part no one talks about: that 6 hour time difference really fucks. you. up.

B and I finally adjusted to Pacific Time around, oh, our final day there (6 hours is no joke). We had planned our trip to end on the Sunday before Columbus Day, so we’d have an extra day home to unpack and adjust to life back on the east coast.

So imagine my surprise after we went to bed Sunday night around midnight and woke up Monday around 12:30pm. I don’t think I’ve slept that late since college (and it was a rarity in college. I was always the one bugging my friends to wake up so I could be the first in line for brunch).

In our defense, we hadn’t gotten much sleep Saturday night, what w/ our 10pm flight to LAX. Our genius idea of getting drunk to pass out on the plane backfired. I don’t know which one of us okay-ed the chili cheese fries, but try flying over the Pacific w/ a belly full of Blue Moon and beans. I’ll just let you sit on that for a moment.

We planned on catching up on sleep Sunday night, but our bodies weren’t hearing it. Instead of going to bed early and waking up early to get back on track, we woke up like a college kid after a night of vodka shots and a late-night burrito run (mmm, burrito).

11pm rolled around last night and neither of us made any move to go to bed. We had the TV on, hoping the mindless entertainment would help us drift off. Instead we had many a thought-provoking conversation.

B: Have you ever named your boobs?

Me: No. That’s weird.

B: How about your vag?

Me: No!! You’re nasty.

B: What about Lucy?

Me (turn around in bed and punch him): What the fuck, Brent?!

B (laughing uncontrollably): No! Not like that. Lucy, like, I Love Lucy!

Me: I don’t know who you meant to insult w/ that, but it probably says more about you.

B (still laughing) : L-U-C-Y. Not L-O-O-S-E-Y. Obviously. 

Obviously one of our more stimulating exchanges.

As the hours rolled by, and it became clear that sleep was not an option, it became one of those self-fulfilling prophecies. I tried not to think about it, but soon it was ALL I could think about. 

I resigned myself to the fact that I wouldn’t be getting any sleep. To make myself feel better, I made a mental list of other people who don’t get any sleep.

-Insomniacs
-New parents (I mean, they bitch about it enough)
-Adulterers?
-Grad students?
-Doctors? 

The last three are up for debate, as I wouldn’t know personally. I just assumed affairs, studying and sick people would eat into your sleep time. It’s in all the movies and shows, so it’s got to be true. 

Clearly, it’s a highly perceptive list. 

I think I drifted off sometime around 4:30am. You can imagine how pleasant my 6:15 alarm was. So pleasant that I shut it off for a few more minutes of sleep. Normally this isn’t an issue. I don’t like snooze, so I’m self-regulating like that. At least, I usually am. After less than two hours of sleep, all self-regulation goes out the window. 

Which is how I ended up waking up a half hour late. And missing the first three buses for work. 

Sure is good to be back.

Comments

Yeewuz said…
Your bf is gross.
Michele said…
I havent had a good night's sleep in what feels like forever... and the kids sleep great so I dont know WTF my problem is! Maybe I need a trip to Hawaii....
Brigid said…
You have no idea.
Brigid said…
haha, Michele, I was just commenting on Brent and yours popped up.

It's so annoying to not be able to sleep! I would definitely recommend a long trip to the Aloha State = )

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