Move It or Lose It

You know the old saying “you make a better door than window”? How you thought it was so cool the first time you heard it and couldn’t wait to lay it on the next person who blocked your view of the TV? (or was that just me? I do love taking credit for second rate snarks).

I think it’s time to retire this old expression. Nowadays, if someone is blocking your view of the TV you just go on your phone to stream the program you’re missing. Nine times out of ten, you’re not even watching what’s on b/c you’re attention is all up in your phone, anyway.

You know where this phrase may still have some life? On my morning commute. I was waiting ever so patiently (lies) to get off the train this morning, thinking to myself how it was taking an awfully long time. As I inched slowly towards the doors I saw why we were moving so slowly: some douche canoe had planted himself smack in the middle of the doorway. A normal man would have been problematic, but this was a giant man, so people couldn’t even get past him on both sides, they had to alternate, making it take twice as long. 

Finally someone demanded suggested that he move out of the way. Clearing the doorways during the rush hour commute? This is news to me! Said the giant who was apparently ignorant in the ways of train etiquette. And all common courtesy.

The old “you make a better door than window” popped into my head as I finally shoved by the guy to get onto the platform. I was trying to think of a fitting alternative. 

“You make a better wall than doorway.”

“You’d make a better door if you weren’t standing right in front of one.” 

“You know you’re not Patrick Swayze from Ghost, right? We can’t go through you.”

My brain isn’t at peak performance at 8am. “Move the f*ck out the way” is still socially acceptable, right?


Stephanie said…
I like all of those, particularly the Ghost reference. I seriously would have snapped on that guy...
Brigid said…
Nice to know I'm not alone in my train rage! I might have to resort to one of those lines next time...