Good Vibes from GNC

As much as it pains me to admit, I can be quite sorta gullible at times. My friends in high school and college would feed me tall tales and I’d eat them up, my eyes growing big as saucers. Then someone in the group would laugh and I’d be all, wait, you mean that didn’t happen? I’d join in the laughter and then privately corner my friend to ensure that the story was, in fact, made up (Steph, just so we’re on the same page, Lindsay didn’t really spend spring break filming a new MTV series about jappy girls, did she? Wait, did she?! OMG, she DID, didn’t she! No, I’m just kidding. I knew she didn’t...right?)

Infomericals are my kryptonite. If I watch one in its entirety, it’s a wrap; my fingers are ordering before my brain even knows what’s happening. It’s on TV, so it HAS to work, right?

As I’ve grown wiser in my old age, I try not to fall victim to the endless gimmicks that plague the internet. But one in particular hooked me. You can’t throw a stone online today w/out coming across some article about coconut oil. How good it is in your diet, on your skin, for your hair. And when my man Dr. Oz approved it, well, I knew I didn’t have to be skeptical anymore (and TG, b/c skeptical doesn’t really suit me).

I went to my neighborhood GNC last week to pick up some of this “miracle oil” and see for myself. They carried two sizes of the type I wanted, both marked down. The smaller bottle was 15 fluid ounces for $10.99. The larger bottle was 29 fluid ounces for $17.99. I had planned on getting the smaller bottle, but that bigger bottle was really flirting w/ me. How could I say no? There was just one problem: I had exactly $18 in my wallet.

Me (holding up the coconut oil) : Is there tax on this stuff?

Clerk: Yeah. Do you come from some magical place where there isn’t tax? (he totally wasn’t trying to be a jackass; I think he was jealous that I hailed from such a place. Even though I don’t).

Me (sadly putting the larger jar back on the shelf): No, I’m from New York. They tax everything. But New England is weird. I was just wondering.

Clerk: What’s your budget?

Me (trying to look extra pathetic): I have exactly $18.

Clerk: We can work with that. We’re here to change people’s lives! (again, not being an asshole. This guy is really chugging the GNC kool-aid).

And that’s how I got my tub o’ coconut oil for $17.

we'll see if it lives up to the hype

The clerk was ringing me up and I handed over my $18. He had rang it in as some $16-and-some-change purchase, so when I gave him my money, he even gave me change. I left that store w/ my coconut oil and the most positive outlook on life, thinking, wow, there really are good people in this world. I was high on good vibes and didn’t even flip off the biker that almost mowed me down (get off the sidewalk, douche).

So there you have it. An inspiring tale to start your 4th off right. Pay it forward, folks. Unless that biker comes around again; seriously, he’s gotta learn sometime.


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