Pain, Pain, Go Away
I can’t remember the last time I got a good night’s sleep. Not since Sunday, at least. I guess if you have habitual trouble sleeping, you’re like, bitch, quit whining. But I don’t usually have trouble sleeping. Until recently.
It all started when I woke up Monday in a panic that I was somehow paralyzed. Not being able to roll over without excruciating pain in your neck and shoulder causes irrational thoughts; like the fact that if I actually was paralyzed, I wouldn’t be able to feel such excruciating pain (I never said I kept a clear head in panic mode).
The chiropractor took some x-rays at my Monday visit to determine that my muscles are wound tight and in spasm. He said there should be more of a natural frontal curve in my vertebrae, whereas mine were all straight. Thanks, doc, for calling my mom a liar all these years; I guess I’m not really pretty on the inside.
He did some exercises with me and I felt much better by the end of the day. I woke up Tuesday feeling infinitely better. At the chiropractor’s office, he had asked me my pain level on a scale of 1-10, and I said probably around an 8. B asked that same question on Tuesday and I said around a 4. It was only painful when I moved certain ways, not the constant it had been on Monday, and even that pain wasn’t too bad.
Yesterday, the pain wasn’t anything I hadn’t felt before. Like if I fall asleep cradling my phone, or with the remote control wedged under my neck (which seems to happen more often than I’d like). I had a follow-up visit with the chiropractor, and left feeling ALMOST as good as new.
I should have known sleeping would fuck it up. Every night since Sunday has been a crap shoot. Usually the soreness creeps back in throughout the day, so before bed is especially tricky. You’d think laying down would help, but for some reason it seems to make it worse; every night I’m tossing and turning in slow motion, afraid my creaking bones are going to wake B. And I wake up with soreness that I’d hoped would be gone. Whatevs, I can take a few days of this until I’m back to my old self.
Or so I thought. I woke up last night with a gnarly pain midway down the left side of my back. This is problematic for several reasons: 1) my back hadn’t been bothering me; it was my neck and shoulder. I guess my back was feeling left out and had to get in on this misery 2) it’s the left side of my back that's bothering me now, whereas the right side of my neck/shoulder has been bothering me all week. So now my whole body is failing me 3) I don’t know if it’s my back or the bottom of my rib cage. All I know is that it hurts to take deep breaths and is sore to the touch. According to the Internet, I either have a bruised rib or Lyme disease.
I took a tentative step towards recovery; I lowered my desk chair. The chiropractor said your feet should be firmly planted on the ground when you’re sitting down. I was in my chair this morning, browsing Boston.com and swinging my legs when panic set in: my legs are swinging! My feet can’t touch the ground! I’ve been sitting like this for months...years even! Who knows the damage I’ve caused!
I fiddled around with my seat to lower it and am relieved to say that my feet are now touching the ground. I can’t say, however, that I’m able to make eye contact with visitors when they come through the doors. I don’t even know if they can see me at this current chair height. Seems a small price to pay for peace of mind, though.
It all started when I woke up Monday in a panic that I was somehow paralyzed. Not being able to roll over without excruciating pain in your neck and shoulder causes irrational thoughts; like the fact that if I actually was paralyzed, I wouldn’t be able to feel such excruciating pain (I never said I kept a clear head in panic mode).
The chiropractor took some x-rays at my Monday visit to determine that my muscles are wound tight and in spasm. He said there should be more of a natural frontal curve in my vertebrae, whereas mine were all straight. Thanks, doc, for calling my mom a liar all these years; I guess I’m not really pretty on the inside.
He did some exercises with me and I felt much better by the end of the day. I woke up Tuesday feeling infinitely better. At the chiropractor’s office, he had asked me my pain level on a scale of 1-10, and I said probably around an 8. B asked that same question on Tuesday and I said around a 4. It was only painful when I moved certain ways, not the constant it had been on Monday, and even that pain wasn’t too bad.
Yesterday, the pain wasn’t anything I hadn’t felt before. Like if I fall asleep cradling my phone, or with the remote control wedged under my neck (which seems to happen more often than I’d like). I had a follow-up visit with the chiropractor, and left feeling ALMOST as good as new.
I should have known sleeping would fuck it up. Every night since Sunday has been a crap shoot. Usually the soreness creeps back in throughout the day, so before bed is especially tricky. You’d think laying down would help, but for some reason it seems to make it worse; every night I’m tossing and turning in slow motion, afraid my creaking bones are going to wake B. And I wake up with soreness that I’d hoped would be gone. Whatevs, I can take a few days of this until I’m back to my old self.
Or so I thought. I woke up last night with a gnarly pain midway down the left side of my back. This is problematic for several reasons: 1) my back hadn’t been bothering me; it was my neck and shoulder. I guess my back was feeling left out and had to get in on this misery 2) it’s the left side of my back that's bothering me now, whereas the right side of my neck/shoulder has been bothering me all week. So now my whole body is failing me 3) I don’t know if it’s my back or the bottom of my rib cage. All I know is that it hurts to take deep breaths and is sore to the touch. According to the Internet, I either have a bruised rib or Lyme disease.
I took a tentative step towards recovery; I lowered my desk chair. The chiropractor said your feet should be firmly planted on the ground when you’re sitting down. I was in my chair this morning, browsing Boston.com and swinging my legs when panic set in: my legs are swinging! My feet can’t touch the ground! I’ve been sitting like this for months...years even! Who knows the damage I’ve caused!
I fiddled around with my seat to lower it and am relieved to say that my feet are now touching the ground. I can’t say, however, that I’m able to make eye contact with visitors when they come through the doors. I don’t even know if they can see me at this current chair height. Seems a small price to pay for peace of mind, though.
Comments
But I have to say that I just LOVED this phrase. "Thanks, doc, for calling my mom a liar all these years; I guess I’m not really pretty on the inside." PRICELESS!
Thanks, Michele!