Obligatory Olympics Post

The 2012 Summer Olympics start today.

Whoopity-fucking-do.

Pardon my language. But I really don’t get all the hype. I try to stay as far away as possible from anyone with Olympic Fever. Not that I’m in danger of catching it. Unless we’re transported back to 1996 and Dominique Moceanu appears onscreen.

probably the last time I ever cared about the Olympics

I don’t know when I became such a hater. I used to love watching the Olympics as a kid. The gymnasts and the figure skaters were real inspiration. Nothing like a bunch of 90-pound girls catapulting to international fame to spur a few eating disorders.

Not that I ever had an eating disorder. Unless by "disorder" you mean eating too much. And then biding my time until the coast was clear to eat some more waiting patiently until dinner. I want to be put on the Micheal Phelps diet: eating 12,000 calories a day. Geez, I put that away on a Saturday night. There’s an Olympic sport I can get down with: non-competitive eating.

These are some of the best athletes in the world. And probably some of the worst friends to party with. You’re throwing back your second pitcher of Blue Moon, elbow deep in a plate of nachos, and they’re using the bar stool as a makeshift vault.

I get the whole “my body is a temple” attitude. These athletes see food as fuel, not as a source enjoyment. I dig it. I was on a similar eating plan today. Blueberry muffins washed down by sesame seed bagels. Diet Coke and carrot cake. Healthy body, healthy mind, am I right?

I wish I was as motivated for anything like these people are for their sport. Mustering up that passion for handball? Part of me is impressed, while the other part of me is like, wait, the game we used to play at recess? I didn’t know playground games were an Olympic sport. Guess the joke’s on me for skipping gym class all those times; I could’ve been a competitor at badminton. Well, maybe not badminton. I don't know if I could ever take a sport that uses the word "shuttlecock" seriously.  

Don’t get me wrong; I have nothing against the Olympics. I hope Team USA does us proud. Nothing brings this country together like egocentrism.

Comments

Sarah said…
I didn't know this was how you felt. I like the olympics, and honestly I like them more now that I've trained for and participated in races. I know what I have to sacrifice and put my self through just to place 14838/17938 in a half marathon, so I admire their commitment. But I can understand your feeling toward the hype. I think I would enjoy the whole thing more if I didn't feel like it was being shoved down my throat by the media.
Brigid said…
Don't get me wrong; these are some of the best athletes in the world, and their strength and dedication is admirable.

I think you hit it spot on, w/ the over-imposing media coverage that turns me way off.
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