Will Run for Beer
One of my roommates was in the living room the other night pinning a race bib to a shirt. I immediately needed all the details: What race? How long? What neighborhood? Any cool swag? I was slightly irritated b/c I go to Cool Running every so often and hadn’t seen any good ones in our area.
Let’s be clear here: I’m not a runner. Or rather, I don’t consider myself one. In the past few years, I’ve been in a few road races, all under four miles (oddly enough, I’ve never done a legit 5k; they’ve all been 3.5-4 milers). I’ve never liked running, and am crazy jealous of the people who breeze down the street effortlessly, like they’ve got some hidden supply of oxygen (while I’m panting after running the one block to catch my bus).
The insanely mild “winter” we’ve had this year is the best thing to happen to Boston since Paul Revere. I don’t have to worry about someone slashing my tires if I mistake that shopping cart for another piece of debris and roll it out of the way to park my car. I don’t have to wear a pair of sweatpants over my dress pants and then hang the sweatpants over the heater at work to dry out (I certainly didn’t do that last winter, it’s just an expression). And, best of all, I can ditch the treadmill and keep running outside – because is there anything worse than running on a treadmill?
I’ve actually been enjoying my weekend runs; changing up the streets, adding some inclines, even logging more miles to my usual routes. But I feel like I’m giving myself a false sense of fitness; I know running more doesn’t give me the free range to eat like shit for the rest of the weekend, but immediately after my run, I’m ready for brunch. Like, two-eggs, two-pancakes, two-sausages, two-years-closer-to-diabetes brunch. The running is only half the battle (which I’m clearly losing).
That’s why I was jealous of the road race my roommate did last weekend. Not only was it five miles -a great new goal for me to have been working toward- it didn’t start until 11am. All the races I’ve done, or looked into, start at like 8 in the morning. To add insult to injury, he was telling me afterwards that it was one of the best races he’s done, b/c right after the race, your bib got you admitted to a beer tent with unlimited drinks for two hours. Say what? Screw the bananas and bagels most races try to pawn off; you’re telling me I could have slept in, then got drunk for free? An essentially guilt-free Sunday Funday (because you’ve already logged five miles, you can drink whatever you want, duh).
I don’t have an exact plan of attack, but I know something has to change. I’m currently reading a book on the food industry and enormous American appetite, hoping to gain some tips to satiate mine (or at least feel better about myself; some of these anecdotes are appalling). If I camp out on race sites, maybe I can find a local run that will give me something to train for. Hard. I’m sick of half-assing it. Worst case scenario, the next time my roommate is doing another race, I tag along and swipe his race bib when the beer tent opens.
Let’s be clear here: I’m not a runner. Or rather, I don’t consider myself one. In the past few years, I’ve been in a few road races, all under four miles (oddly enough, I’ve never done a legit 5k; they’ve all been 3.5-4 milers). I’ve never liked running, and am crazy jealous of the people who breeze down the street effortlessly, like they’ve got some hidden supply of oxygen (while I’m panting after running the one block to catch my bus).
The insanely mild “winter” we’ve had this year is the best thing to happen to Boston since Paul Revere. I don’t have to worry about someone slashing my tires if I mistake that shopping cart for another piece of debris and roll it out of the way to park my car. I don’t have to wear a pair of sweatpants over my dress pants and then hang the sweatpants over the heater at work to dry out (I certainly didn’t do that last winter, it’s just an expression). And, best of all, I can ditch the treadmill and keep running outside – because is there anything worse than running on a treadmill?
I’ve actually been enjoying my weekend runs; changing up the streets, adding some inclines, even logging more miles to my usual routes. But I feel like I’m giving myself a false sense of fitness; I know running more doesn’t give me the free range to eat like shit for the rest of the weekend, but immediately after my run, I’m ready for brunch. Like, two-eggs, two-pancakes, two-sausages, two-years-closer-to-diabetes brunch. The running is only half the battle (which I’m clearly losing).
That’s why I was jealous of the road race my roommate did last weekend. Not only was it five miles -a great new goal for me to have been working toward- it didn’t start until 11am. All the races I’ve done, or looked into, start at like 8 in the morning. To add insult to injury, he was telling me afterwards that it was one of the best races he’s done, b/c right after the race, your bib got you admitted to a beer tent with unlimited drinks for two hours. Say what? Screw the bananas and bagels most races try to pawn off; you’re telling me I could have slept in, then got drunk for free? An essentially guilt-free Sunday Funday (because you’ve already logged five miles, you can drink whatever you want, duh).
I don’t have an exact plan of attack, but I know something has to change. I’m currently reading a book on the food industry and enormous American appetite, hoping to gain some tips to satiate mine (or at least feel better about myself; some of these anecdotes are appalling). If I camp out on race sites, maybe I can find a local run that will give me something to train for. Hard. I’m sick of half-assing it. Worst case scenario, the next time my roommate is doing another race, I tag along and swipe his race bib when the beer tent opens.
Comments
I applaud your efforts to run outside. I'm that rare person who actually likes the treadmill more, probably because I live in NY and it's safer, and I don't like cold weather, so indoor running is more convenient. I hope you do work your way up to a 5k someday, but it's awesome that you can run more than a mile at one time without stopping, that's a huge goal of mine and I'm definitely not there yet!