It's A Hard Rock Life

Monday was the final day I could score my free underwear at Victoria’s Secret. Wasn't it June 1st, like, yesterday? 

My question for any ladies who also got in on this promo: was yours a one-size-fits-all scam? The tag on the underwear said “one-size.” I scoured the drawers to make sure I wasn’t missing anything, or getting the only pattern that had this weird sizing system. Nope, they all did. What is this business? Everyone wearing the same underwear size? Did they base these sizes after their Angels, b/c if so, I’m officially screwed. When your underwear is too tight there’s really no more lies you can tell yourself; you’ve just got to put down the nachos.

Maybe I’m supposed to use the trinket-like “VS” dangling off the back of the undies to loosen or tighten them. Maybe I can find a YouTube tutorial on how to adjust them. Or maybe I should have just not gotten a pair. But it was FREE. And I’m literally helpless in the face of FREE shit. (why do you think my pen collection is so extensive?)

B met up with me afterwards and we decided to get dinner. Vicki’s was in the middle of a tourist trap, so we decided to wander. We felt like going somewhere off the beaten path. Somewhere only locals like us know about. With huge portions and cheap prices. We knew just the place.

Ever heard of it? I think it’s a chain, but your city might not be so fortunate to have one.

A little place called the Rock. Sorry, the Hard Rock Cafe, to those who might not be familiar. We’re just such regulars. And by regulars I mean that it’s a place we avoid like the plague. I might have gone here when I first moved to the city, I don’t remember. The only time I can definitely remember going was when my sisters came to visit. Don’t judge, it’s practically a tourist law.

I have nothing against the Hard Rock or tourist traps. I plan on doing (another) Duck Tour this summer and I get chills every time I run along the Freedom Trail. I think Mike’s Pastry is the shit and I’ve done the Sam Adams tour more then a handful of times (but that might have more to do w/ the fact that free beer is involved). What I do have a problem w/ is paying $35 for two cheeseburger meals, sans alcohol. Which is probably the real reason I haven’t been back.